Hi, Friend. Today, I have a question for you:
Have you ever approached a woman, gotten a good initial reaction, and ejected before it could go bad?
Why do we do this?
Are we so desperate to stay in the good mood that we established by getting a decent initial reaction from the chick, that we'd sacrifice a possible lay just to take the SURE THING that we'll stay in a good mood?
Are we really like that?
ANSWER: I think that psychologically, we all cope by building a self-image for ourselves.
Teenagers will turn goth, or prep, or find cliques, or get really into a pro sports team, or get really into a certain type of music, or get involved with drugs.
We did this stuff because we struggled to find our own IDENTITY.
As we get older, we find our own identity and it's typically more sophisticated than when we were younger.
However, it's still how we GET BY psychologically.
So in a lot of ways, it's no better, but just further developed.
Follow me here.
NOBODY likes to think of themselves as "bad with women", because we NEED to feel desirable as a FUNDAMENTAL part of our self-identity.
To feel undesirable sexually would imply MANY MANY BAD THINGS about ourselves, including bad genetics, bad personality, bad social intelligence, bad upbringing, etc.
This is why if you tell guys you study seduction, they freak out and get all pissy. Because to imply that they would need HELP with their desirability is to imply MANY bad things about them.
That's why guys who you can be cool to talk about practically *anything* with, who are perfectly cool guys when it comes to ANY other topic than this, can't take it when you say "hey man check this stuff out."
Now, a KEY thing to consider:
The main problem with how we control our state is that when we approach a woman, our fear is massively ILLOGICAL.
In fact, fear is built to prevent us from being HURT.
But ironically, our fear of approaching women actually HURTS US, while actually approaching HELPS US.
But yet, we feel fear.
THE REASON THAT WE FEEL FEAR IS THAT IT IS OUR WAY OF PSYCHOLOGICALLY PREVENTING OURSELVES FROM HAVING A SELF-IMAGE CRASH.
Our ego can't stand the punishment.
We have a self-image that we've developed, and it sure doesn't include being a guy who women SNUB.
But back to the main point.
In my opinion, a big key to state-control is RECOGNITION of the fact that our fear is based on the threat to our self image (or ego).
Then, in RECOGNITION of this phenomenon, we have to rework our self-image NOT to include our desirability to women.
Because we realize that practically NO guys, even good looking guys, are actually able to pick up random women on a consistent basis, in the way that we're learning to do here.
And in recognition of this REALITY about the world, we can accept that, statistically, practically NOBODY is good with women, and FREE OURSELVES to do mass approaches and learn the skill set.
We have to see things as they are.
Only then can we free ourselves of the threat to our self-image, since we understand that there is no correlation between our self-image and any particular woman's reaction to us.
In fact, our self-image should even become BRUISED when we chicken out from approaches, because that's the real thing to be ashamed of, given that there's so little correlation between our "desirability" and our actual ability to pick-up new, random women.
Furthermore, having fear implies that we're STUPID, because we aren't able to make the link between REALITY and how it doesn't actually correspond to our self-image in the way that we seem to NEED to delude ourselves into thinking it does, in a desperate attempt to preserve our emotional well-being.
So with this RE-ASSESSMENT of our self-image, we can realize that fear of playing pickup can be easily, INSTANTLY dealt with.
We can even apply this to other areas of our lives, and at least make the effort to recognize the MANY areas in which we delude ourselves, and to try to gain self-awareness that will bring us closer to equilibrium with our environments and the world that we've been thrown into.
The more that we acknowledge where we've deluded ourselves for the sole sake of preserving a FALSE self-image, the more we can improve ourselves in the REAL WORLD, and not just in our heads.
Why do this? Because on a subconscious level we know that we're lying to ourselves, and it comes through in the form of depression.
So by aspiring and genuinely attempting to recognize this and to gain self knowledge, we begin to PURGE ourselves of this BULLSH*T.
That's when we begin to emit an *aura* that people are irresistably drawn to.
Notice how some people just rub you the wrong way, but you can't explain why?
Notice there are some other guys that EVERYONE just wants to be around?
Those guys are the ones who have come closer to this equilibrium with the REAL WORLD and the one that they perceive in THEIR MINDS.
And those are the guys who have potential to be AMAZING seducers, because they have ultimate state control.
They are ultimately comfortable with THEMSELVES, and it comes through with women.
That's the first step: psychologically liberating yourself, giving yourself the permission to be comfortable doing mass approaches and learn the skill set.
From there, it's just a matter of getting the interactions under your belt, seeing what works, and discarding what doesn't until it becomes second nature.
Unfortunately, this process can sometimes take several YEARS.
That's several years of hunting and pecking in relative darkness, trying to stumble upon the patterns that exist in all social interactions.
Several years of brutal crash and burns.
Don't get me wrong, I went through this process myself... and to be fair, I kind of enjoyed it. Then again, several of my associates have suggested I'm a closet masochist, so take that with a grain of salt.
The point is, it's a journey, not a destination.
The decision you have to make is this: do you want to travel in an old, rusty station wagon or a brand-new sports car?
This is where Real Social Dynamics comes in.
Instantly Profit From Our Years Of Hard Work!
At RSD, our Executive Coaching staff has, collectively, DECADES of real-life field experience under their belts.
What's more, this experience came before they even began the rigorous, six-month training program required to become a certified Real Social Dynamics instructor
The bottom line? These guys are the REAL DEAL. And they're willing to pass their hard-earned knowledge on to you.
They've walked through the fire, so you don't have to.
We've got several products designed to boost your game higher than you ever thought possible (with a FRACTION of the effort you currently exert!).
Looking for something a little more "hands-on" than this e-course? The Real Social Dynamics live programs are just the thing to jump-start your game and get you zipping along at mach 3.
Whether you choose a Personalized Workshop or a 3-Day Bootcamp, you'll undergo a radical transformation as the Executive Coaches hammer away at your old self- limiting beliefs and sticking points until they're obliterated into dust.
You'll spend an intense weekend immersed in a hard- core learning environment. Then you'll take what you've learned, head out to the clubs and apply it directly, under the close scrutiny of the instructors.
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During your personalized bootcamp, you'll be pushed to your limits...
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This is an investment that pays dividends for a LIFETIME.
Anyways, I'd like to take this opportunity, as always, to thank you for reading our newsletter. And be on the lookout for next week's issue: I got something really special cooking that I think you'll really enjoy.
Jeffy, Executive Coach REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS
PS...Do you have any questions or success stories that you'd like to see in this newsletter? Keep it brief, email them to me at email@example.com and I'll answer them personally. I'll provide the solution to any challenge you can possibly put to me. Remember: even if an obstacle seems "big" to you, our team has probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve
it in a SNAP.
Copyright 2004/2005 Real Social Dynamics Inc., All Rights Reserved. Real Social Dynamics is a trademark of Real Social Dynamics Inc. You agree to all of the following by accepting and reading this: You understand this to be an expression of opinions and not professional advice. It is only to be used for personal entertainment purposes. You are solely responsible for the use of the ideas, concepts, and content and hold Real Social Dynamics Inc. and all members and affiliates harmless in any event or claim. If you are under the age of 18, please go to the link at the end of this e-letter to stop receiving it or send mail to "RSD" 8491 West Sunset Boulevard, #452, West Hollywood, CA 90069.
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